Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Happy birthday, Sweetie

You're supposed to be 60 today.  Do you care?  Or are you reveling in your infinite self?  I hope you're reveling, for your sake.  I was just thinking the other day that I wish we could talk across this space between us, but then I wondered if what you can see and do and experience now is ineffable; could you even share your "day" with me now?  Would I understand?  Or is it one of those "you had to be there" things?  I can tell you about the dogs and what I'm up to, and you'd have to try to explain what it's like to be a supernova, because you get that now.  And I'd be dumbfounded, and Google would be no help.
Still, I wouldn't mind giving it a try.
As tempted as I have been to just take some time to mope tonight, I'll be going to open mic to honor you instead, singing songs for you.  You know the ones.  I always sing for you, of course, but this is expressly in your honor.  I figure you'd prefer that to moping.  I'm doing my moping on the clock instead, in my cubicle.  I'm a multi-tasker like that, as well you know.  A few tears today, when I wrote S to tell him it was your birthday.  He's the only one in my life who knew you, too, and had a relationship with you of his own, and cares, and I needed that connection today.  I'm sure your family and your other friends are thinking of you today, too, but...well, you know how that goes.
Anyway, there's nothing to say now that I haven't said a million times.  I just wanted to tell you that I wish you were having a birthday today, and that I love you so very much, and miss you an equal amount.
Tu J, siempre xxooxx<3

1 comment:

  1. How strange...got a call today from one of his best friends. I haven't heard from any of that bunch in almost 3 years.

    I called him back, and we spoke briefly. He asked if life was going well for me. I answered honestly. "It's a pretty good life, actually...but it was better." He said he understood completely. I doubt I'll hear from him again, or it'll be another 3 years maybe. That's fine; it was still nice to talk to someone who loved him, too. And, I guess, to know that I counted to the people that mattered to A, if only for a moment. Validating somehow.