tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8208174559469742750.post5813127957723697403..comments2023-03-21T07:42:51.807-07:00Comments on After the fire, the fire still burns: "To some I'm worse than an embarrassment, I am a death's head."--C.S. LewisPhoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02772907437207569339noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8208174559469742750.post-66447325334741466802010-09-16T20:36:29.143-07:002010-09-16T20:36:29.143-07:00Thanks ladies; I feel better now, and validated. ...Thanks ladies; I feel better now, and validated. I didn't think I was an especially weird widow, but I guess to civilians, we all are.Phoenixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02772907437207569339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8208174559469742750.post-87715693159238126472010-09-16T08:58:47.589-07:002010-09-16T08:58:47.589-07:00Yes. All of it, absolutely, yes. I get it. I agree...Yes. All of it, absolutely, yes. I get it. I agree with you.<br /><br />I don't have a spouse now to have to react to my matter-of-fact-ness about death and its certainty. And I only talk about death and widowhood with those select, few people who've proven over the last 5 years that they were okay hearing what I had to say. But for the most part, that means I only talk about it with <i>other widows</i> or people who've lost someone intrinsic to their life, like a parent or sibling. I certainly don't talk about it with my family or casual friends because, like E, I don't think they really want to hear it. Yes, they know--courtesy of Charley--that death can happen anytime without warning, but they still think (in my opinion) that it won't happen to them/again and that not talking about it grants a magical power to avoid death.<br /><br />For me, yes, death is a given fact in this world. So is that it can happen at anytime, to anyone. To me; to Anna; to my parents, Charley's parents, my friends, siblings, nieces or nephews....There's no protection or magical repellant for Death. And I don't really fear death or dying anymore. Best-case scenario, I can either be with Charley again or else stick around and continue to be with my loved ones in some way; worst case, nothing happens at all and I'm simply nowhere and nothing after I die, nonsentient and nonexistent. It doesn't mean that I <i>like</i> the fact of death any better or that I react any better to it when someone or something dies (our dog last summer being a prime example), but there's no fear for me anymore about Death simply as a real, tangible given in life.<br /><br />And apparently "magical" is my word of the day for how to describe other people's denial about death and their naive faith in avoiding the topic.<br /><br />"Like you just took a dump on their best Persian rug": I got the best laugh out of that. Thank you. ;o)Candicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637366044613952294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8208174559469742750.post-14955070969739298232010-09-16T07:53:36.681-07:002010-09-16T07:53:36.681-07:00You are SUCH a widow! LOL
Of COURSE the blinders ...You are SUCH a widow! LOL<br /><br />Of COURSE the blinders have been ripped off. Of COURSE we are completely aware of the absolutely inevitable nature of death.<br /><br />It's just one more thing we widows have to learn: How to zip it. How to not talk about it. How to sanitize it for those around us.<br /><br />But every once in a while, the ziploc bag we've sealed it in needs to be stomped on, so the contents can be smeared on that fine Persian rug.Aliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11566205581092404455noreply@blogger.com